Archive for the 'Cancer' Category


Wish You Were Here

Yes, the blog has been quiet. I’ve been tied up doing a lot of reading for my classes. I’m pursuing a Masters of Fine Arts in writing, but the real reason is that I’ve dedicated much of my energy to healing from my wife’s death. It’s not exactly been entirely productive. I HAVE made progress trying to deal with my
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This Is Why I Write

Words touched this heart March 28, 2015 Bob Marcotte, your Valley Voices piece, “The sad, silly, single man who orders the same dinner every Friday night” (March 14) reached my heart. How beautiful it is to see someone with a love like yours for your dear wife. The way you described your cast iron heart-shaped vault that you carry with
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  Void/adjective Completely empty. synonym: empty, vacant, blank, bare, clear, free, unfilled, unoccupied According to the interwebby, the average lifespan nowadays is 75 years. If that is true, then she died thirteen years too early, and I have twenty left. I have no words to address the injustice, so I will rely on those of others. “Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can’t cry it
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The House of Mirrors Will Shatter

Recently I was honored to have a piece I wrote published in the Fresno Bee. I am overwhelmed by the positive responses it received, but it also led to many questions from people who are just starting their cancer or care giving journey. It breaks my heart that so many have to follow the path my wife and I did.
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Six Tips to Emotionally Support a Loved One with Terminal Cancer

Today, I gladly turn my blog over to Michelle Wittmer and the good people at the Mesothelioma Center. Since my wife, Carole, passed, I have been asked often about when the appropriate time is to consider hospice and how to be a better caregiver, but Michelle’s words are special. Please read them and comment. Thank you Michelle! Six Tips to
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A Warrior’s Request

Tonight, Mischief the cat is sleeping on my computer bag on the table in front of me, Reggie the collie-mutt sleeps next to me on the couch. It would appear to be another night of nirvana at home, but it is not. Tomorrow, and the day after, I go to war. I am not a warrior by any definition. I
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The Unvisible Man

This particular call of the wild is eventually answered by all men, but none more so than suddenly single men. Tonight’s call was simple, “I am hungry.” I walked into the place known for their famous BBQ. The hostess offered to seat me at a table, but the bar caught my eye. I picked my spot, a place that offered
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The Prayer of An Empty Soul

The emptiness is deafening. Imagine having your soul pulled out of your body, only then you can imagine my days of late. Recently, I had a TV appearance about the new magazine in town that ran my article about my wife’s final hours. A day later I was a guest of honor at that same magazine’s inaugural launch party. It
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Eulogy for Carole

My favorite course in college was taken while I was working on a Masters Degree in Music Education. It was called “The Philosophy of Music Education”, which quickly turned into purely the philosophy of music for me. I didn’t care about teaching rug rats then, and I still don’t now. There was one perfect thought from that course which still
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And the Award Goes To…

I’m watching the Academy Awards. I’m watching person after person accept a small statue for excellence in an industry based on make-believe and distraction. Just once, I want to see a person receive an award for actual achievement in real-life, care-giving combat conditions. None of us volunteered for this.  We inherited the responsibility for someone else’s life by sharing the
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