Archive for the 'Grieving' Category

TheWall

A VOID AT ALL COSTS

  Void/adjective Completely empty. synonym: empty, vacant, blank, bare, clear, free, unfilled, unoccupied According to the interwebby, the average lifespan nowadays is 75 years. If that is true, then she died thirteen years too early, and I have twenty left. I have no words to address the injustice, so I will rely on those of others. “Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can’t cry it
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GetUp

The House of Mirrors Will Shatter

Recently I was honored to have a piece I wrote published in the Fresno Bee. I am overwhelmed by the positive responses it received, but it also led to many questions from people who are just starting their cancer or care giving journey. It breaks my heart that so many have to follow the path my wife and I did.
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PlayingWithMischief

On the First Anniversary of Her Passing

I was born in a place people only passed through on their way to somewhere else. I was raised at a vague address, in a locale that went unnoticed and no one bothered to put energy into forgetting. God created the heavens and the earth from nothingness. I know this for a fact because that’s where I lived.  Every star
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GetUp

Somedays It Feels Just Like This

It is grotesque.  Just as the twists and turns drawn on a map cut the world into little pieces, so they did to you, except your scars led inward and passed enormous pain on the way out.  We kept faith with the promises of saints and science, they plotted our course with  best intentions, but we ended up some place
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TheWall

Hinds Hospice’s new Wall of Remembrance A “Forever” Place for Families

“These are not just letters, and this is not just a wall. It’s a place we can meet, and talk, and be together again. For my little family, this is where conversations can be picked up where we left them, and future plans made. This will be a unique place on earth where I know I can always find her,
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_MG_6299

Links of Love

A rainbow framed my destination until it gave way to a nightfall with a near full moon. The tree was still and dark, barely visible in the faint light of nearby neon signs. This was the evening of the “Lights of Love,” a ceremony both sacred and informal, hosted by Hinds Hospice. The tree remained frosted only by moonlight until
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YKwBH

My Demons Are In Shape

Many things have become apparent to me after the passing of my wife. Some things were obvious well before she died, like my lack of skills in the kitchen, but my most recent revelation kinda stings to think about: my demons are in shape. When people inquire about me lately, they all seem to agree that keeping busy is “good”
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41534325

Big Day, Little Voice

#171201268 / gettyimages.com     It is best to read the weather forecast before we pray for rain. Mark Twain I assure you that grieving has it’s own weather. There are days where grief is cold, very cold, almost as if you’ve forgotten it[1], and days its sets records for intense heat. There are fair days, cloudy days, stormy days,
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39168093

The Italian Time Machine

Since my wife passed some six months ago, I’ve been compelled to do “good” things. Perhaps this is motivated by all the help we received over the four years of her cancer, perhaps on a larger scale by the sense of guilt I still carry from once being in desperate need of such help. I don’t know, but any way
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Clock

The Clock With No Hands

The Clock With No Hands   Every Sunday morning at church, people are invited to come to the altar to receive a blessing for births, birthdays, adoptions, graduations…and anniversaries. While I enjoy seeing the joy in the eyes of the blessed, this remains a kick-in-the-head-by-the-hind-leg-of-an-ass reminder to me that I don’t have anniversaries in my immediate future, or my intermediate
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