Archive for the 'Care Giving' Category

TheWall

A VOID AT ALL COSTS

  Void/adjective Completely empty. synonym: empty, vacant, blank, bare, clear, free, unfilled, unoccupied According to the interwebby, the average lifespan nowadays is 75 years. If that is true, then she died thirteen years too early, and I have twenty left. I have no words to address the injustice, so I will rely on those of others. “Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can’t cry it
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GetUp

The House of Mirrors Will Shatter

Recently I was honored to have a piece I wrote published in the Fresno Bee. I am overwhelmed by the positive responses it received, but it also led to many questions from people who are just starting their cancer or care giving journey. It breaks my heart that so many have to follow the path my wife and I did.
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TheWall

Hinds Hospice’s new Wall of Remembrance A “Forever” Place for Families

“These are not just letters, and this is not just a wall. It’s a place we can meet, and talk, and be together again. For my little family, this is where conversations can be picked up where we left them, and future plans made. This will be a unique place on earth where I know I can always find her,
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The Prayer of An Empty Soul

The emptiness is deafening. Imagine having your soul pulled out of your body, only then you can imagine my days of late. Recently, I had a TV appearance about the new magazine in town that ran my article about my wife’s final hours. A day later I was a guest of honor at that same magazine’s inaugural launch party. It
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Carole

Eulogy for Carole

My favorite course in college was taken while I was working on a Masters Degree in Music Education. It was called “The Philosophy of Music Education”, which quickly turned into purely the philosophy of music for me. I didn’t care about teaching rug rats then, and I still don’t now. There was one perfect thought from that course which still
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And the Award Goes To…

I’m watching the Academy Awards. I’m watching person after person accept a small statue for excellence in an industry based on make-believe and distraction. Just once, I want to see a person receive an award for actual achievement in real-life, care-giving combat conditions. None of us volunteered for this.  We inherited the responsibility for someone else’s life by sharing the
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Carole

A Caregiver’s Valentine

When we first met, we were just like what the world imagines love to be. We could not wait to steal even a single moment away together. It was all about being half, then whole. You rose like the sun and filled the hole in me daily. How did you find the darkest corners of me and drench them in
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waiting

The Meaning of the Word Hospice

(If the blog has been quiet recently, it is not because I stopped writing. It’s because I was working on my first assignment for my “Narrative Journalism” course. This is my first course in pursuit of a Master of Fine Arts in writing. How’s it going you ask? I’m getting crushed by people who really know how to write, and
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Clock

Unrewarded Silence

Her sleeping has increased lately; a hospice nurse called this a “progression of the disease” within her.   For me, it is a painful, lonely, silent vigil. All I can do is listen to her breath and find quiet distraction, like writing. I am not over the fact that my greatest efforts are still failures. I am not “accepting” of
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Ladyofthelake

Excalibur

I wonder if at any time King Arthur looked down at Excalibur and thought, “Excalibur, you have never failed me, I wonder if today I have failed you.” On Friday, I had a phone call with one of my wife’s hospice nurses about my recent concerns over my wife sleeping eighteen hours or more per day. My gut told me
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