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Days of Struggle

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In these days of struggle, I have all the strength I need.

My dogs snuggle with me as if I am the sole source of love in the universe. I am given their kisses like only heroes deserve, in spite of my many human failings.

I also have the respect of a disrespectful house cat that seems to understand that her family is under threat. She dwells among us when we have no food to offer; she finds our attention worthy of acceptance when our need to give her unconditional love is greater than her patience.

This world is out of balance.

We are receiving unbounded love from friends and family, from people who are deeply invested in our past and present.  The truth is our future is unknown yet decided, our spirit is unbent, unwilling, unchanged from the love we shared from day one, or day one thousand, or day one hundred thousand.

These are the darkest, and yet the greatest days of my meaningless life.

Her life is the ultimate goal, yet no life lasts forever.

Have I come to accept her demise to cancer?

FUCK NO.

Have I dedicated my life to her comfort and dignity?

Yes, yes, a million times yes.

The ultimate truth is that these days of struggle bring an unspeakable meaning, a meaning that fuels a superhuman strength, which refuses to allow suffering in the greatest person I’ve ever known.

Got all that?

How about I simplify it all for you?

I love her, and she will know comfort and dignity as long as I have a say in her next breath.

THIS is us.

This is us forever.

Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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