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Guessing, Like the Weather

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Things are quiet tonight, but not “normal”. “Normal” is not the right word to describe us, perhaps “status quo” is better; things are “status quo”, but never “normal”.

In the last two months, we have survived two “Death Rehearsals”, a pair of medical emergencies that presented like “the end”, but were simply all-encompassing-energy-sucking practice sessions. Yeah, like we needed them.

But these latest days are not all-encompassing-energy-sucking days; these are days she is comfortable, days where she has dignity and peace. These are the greatest days I can ask for.

I’ll take them.

I’ll take them every day.

For those of you that don’t live in California, you probably think that every day out here is paradise, that somehow we’ve grown so accustomed to blue skies and pleasant temperatures to the point that we never feel cold or heat; that’s not exactly accurate.

Even a great caregiving day is measured by pain and comfort and dignity. Much like the weather wherever you live, we have highs and lows, we have clear skies and inclement weather; we have anything from dead calm to apocalyptic tornados.

The differences are the changes we endure without warning can take place in an hour or in minutes. This is caregiving, or better yet a time better described as “combat”. The enemy hunts us; we defend, we survive, and occasionally gain precious inches in the battle for her comfort.

So, just like us, you want to know what’s next, don’t you?

We have no idea.

The best way to imagine us is like an old lighthouse that has endured the worst the ocean has delivered and stands ready to withstand whatever is yet to come. We respect the power we resist, but we cannot be toppled. Cancer is no joke, but neither are we.

What’s next?

We have no idea, but if we guessed, it would be as unpredictable as the weather, but as constant as our relationship of over twenty years.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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