Her sleeping has increased lately; a hospice nurse called this a “progression of the disease” within her.
For me, it is a painful, lonely, silent vigil. All I can do is listen to her breath and find quiet distraction, like writing.
I am not over the fact that my greatest efforts are still failures. I am not “accepting” of it. There is no acceptance in my heart of anything that hurts her; my vigil is changing, it is less practical and more spiritual, but hurts just as much.
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It seems rare that I hurt when I’m sleeping. I’m hoping it’s the same for Carole.