Archive for the cancer Tag


Eulogy for Carole

My favorite course in college was taken while I was working on a Masters Degree in Music Education. It was called “The Philosophy of Music Education”, which quickly turned into purely the philosophy of music for me. I didn’t care about teaching rug rats then, and I still don’t now. There was one perfect thought from that course which still
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A Caregiver’s Valentine

When we first met, we were just like what the world imagines love to be. We could not wait to steal even a single moment away together. It was all about being half, then whole. You rose like the sun and filled the hole in me daily. How did you find the darkest corners of me and drench them in
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Unrewarded Silence

Her sleeping has increased lately; a hospice nurse called this a “progression of the disease” within her.   For me, it is a painful, lonely, silent vigil. All I can do is listen to her breath and find quiet distraction, like writing. I am not over the fact that my greatest efforts are still failures. I am not “accepting” of
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I wonder if at any time King Arthur looked down at Excalibur and thought, “Excalibur, you have never failed me, I wonder if today I have failed you.” On Friday, I had a phone call with one of my wife’s hospice nurses about my recent concerns over my wife sleeping eighteen hours or more per day. My gut told me
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The Blessings of Cancer

My intent was pure, but my chest was tight. I really wanted this.  As each member of the group entered the room I introduced myself and I was welcomed with hearty handshakes, but I also noticed the sideways glances. I was welcome, but not one of them. This was a group of cancer fighters, a group of men who shared
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Guessing, Like the Weather

Things are quiet tonight, but not “normal”. “Normal” is not the right word to describe us, perhaps “status quo” is better; things are “status quo”, but never “normal”. In the last two months, we have survived two “Death Rehearsals”, a pair of medical emergencies that presented like “the end”, but were simply all-encompassing-energy-sucking practice sessions. Yeah, like we needed them.
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Marcotte New CoverFINAL

My One Hundredth Post

Bob, We have completed review of your submission, and I am very happy to officially accept you into Lindenwood University’s MFA in Writing Program. Your sample shows both a sincerity and an intensity in your writing, and I am confident that you’ll be a wonderful addition to our program… I made it. Tweet



  Tonight, while eating a can of cold baked beans over the kitchen sink, I was reminded that this is the holiday season, a time of thanks and feasting, perhaps not always in that order. I am very grateful for my beans. I eat them cold so my wife, who is bed-ridden in the front room, cannot smell food being
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The Price of Comfort

  As most of you know, I wrote a book about being a cancer caregiver. What I forgot to tell you is that I’ve dropped the price of my book to the lowest amount I can go on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc. You can get the E-Book of You Mean, Besides the Cancer? for $1.99. This is not a seasonal gimmick,
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Like A Voice In the Wilderness Drinking

  I entered the place as if it was the old days, but I was intimately reminded that these days are not. After a tough day at work, I attended a mandatory orientation for volunteers in the hospital that runs the cancer center I’ve been invited to speak at. The training room was buzzing with youthful energy, but I was
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